Priorities

One thing that I have figured out about trying to be a good wife is that it doesn't leave much time for blogging! My computer didn't even get turned on during the weekdays this past week.

I have also found that I CANNOT do it all. This woman in Proverbs 31 has got to be fictional, because how can you possibly be every thing to everyone and how are there enough hours in the day? Plus, I just have to note that she "plans the day's work for her servant girls." Ummm....where the heck are my servant girls?

I might have enough hours if I didn't have a full-time job, but there is just no way that I can keep up with all of the laundry and house cleaning and ironing and childcare while working 40 plus hours a week teaching.

The old me cooked alot of frozen pizza and spent all weekend trying to catch up on cleaning and laundry. I have been trying to keep up with the cleaning and the laundry on more of a daily basis when I get home from work, but that doesn't give me much time with the kids...oh, and what about dinner?!

I watched the movie The Help last week. I read the book awhile back and have been wanting desperately to find time to watch the movie.

The movie brought back all kinds of feelings I got while reading the book. I was in tears when I realized that I was far too much like the character of Elizabeth Leefolt. She is a follower and she is not the best mother...not a horrible mom, but she just has her priorities mixed up.

Now, I love all three of my children more than anything, and I do consider myself a decent mom, but I can do better. I can be more patient...I can be more attentive...I can be more loving.

So, while the housework, the cooking and the laundry are all things that I need to be keeping up with and I will be striving to do so, my children need me to be there for them.

Dirty Dishes

I feel like God often talks to me through music. Not my own musicial talents, of course, because I have none. But I find myself moved by songs. These lyrics are from Scotty McCreery's new song, Dirty Dishes.

Mama hollers "Supper time,

And don't make me tell you twice

Wash your hands and wipe your face.

The table's no place for your toys,

And try to use your inside voice,

Don't dig in 'til we say Grace."

So we put down our forks and bowed our heads

And then she prayed the strangest prayer ever said:

"I wanna thank You Lord,

For noisy children and slamming doors,

And clothes scattered all over the floor,

My husband workin' all the time,

Draggin' in dead tired at night,

My never ending messy kitchen,

And dirty dishes."

We all got real still and quiet,

And daddy asked "Honey, you alright?"

She said, "Dear, ain't nothing wrong,
Noisy kids are happy kids,

And slamming doors just means we live,

In a warm and loving home,

Your long hours and those dishes in the sink,

Means a job and enough to eat.

I wanna thank You Lord,

For my little busy bees

Beggin' mama, mama can you please?

Always wantin' me to call their name

Loads of laundry pilin' up

Crayons crushed into the floor

And those little sticky kisses

And dirty dishes.

I have so much to be thankful for. I think of the mommies in our community who have had to deal with the loss of a child or a husband, and here I am complaining about keeping up with housework and attempting to cook for my family.

"Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts." - Colossians 3:16

It's Too Mushy

When I embarked on the challenge of making a good dinner for my family every day, I decided that crockpot cooking was one of the best solutions for me as a working mom. One of my dear friends, Holly (who also happens to totally be a Proverbs 31 wife...she even is out there everyday in the pasture working the cows with her husband!) let me borrow her crockpot cookbook.

 I wrote the other day about the creamy spaghetti I made. I thought it was good, but after my second crockpot dinner, which was chicken and rice, Seth turned up his nose. "It's too mushy! I know you are trying to save time, but this crockpot stuff just isn't very good."


I gritted my teeth to keep from snapping back with a sarcastic comment. "Ok, I will try something different," I said instead. But literally, my heart was broken. I was trying so hard and it still wasn't good enough for him.

Like I have said before, I am not a chef. But I can follow directions...truly, it is not that I mess up what I make (well, most of the time) but that I don't know what to make in the first place!

One of my major problems is that in order not to have to cook two dinners, I have to make something that my kids will eat, too. So, last night I sat down and made a list of kid-friendly, Seth-friendly meals and then I made a grocery list of the items we needed.

This morning, I told Seth that I had made a grocery list.

Seth: "That's nice, but we can't buy groceries until the 14th." (Today is the 7th.)

Me: "What are we going to eat this week?" (as calmly as possible)
Seth: "There's lots of stuff in there. I just spent $200 last week."

I found myself gritting my teeth again to keep my mouth shut. I want to say, "Sure, we can live on powdered donuts, poptarts and hot dogs for a week." Seth does our grocery shopping, so in addition to the list of weekly groceries he gets from me, he buys "snacks" (aka junk) for the kids.

About 30 minutes later, Seth showed me the new chainsaw he bought. Hmm...by the end of this experiment, I may not have any teeth left for all of this gritting I am doing....

One "Thank You!" Would Go a Mile!

I felt tears coming to my eyes as I drove to school this morning. I was ready to throw this whole "Proverbs 31 Wife" resolution right out the window. I started talking to God as I drove down the road.


What is the point of this? By trying to be such a good wife, all I am doing is exhausting myself...for WHAT?! The laundry is all clean and stowed, the house is clean, I am attempting to make a good dinner every night....but I don't feel any better, and Seth hasn't even noticed how hard I am working. He doesn't even CARE!


As if to answer my angry prayer, Born Again by Newsboys began playing on the radio. It is one of my favorite songs...and literally told me, "Found myself looking into the mirror, Knew I wasn't who I wanted to be, I was living like the way that I wanted, But my eyes reminded me I'm not free..."

I made a resolution to be the best wife and mother I could be and just a week into it, I am ready to throw in the towel. How pathetic! I rolled my eyes at myself.


Just suck it up and do this. It will get easier. 


I am really proud of my time management. I have found that because I am staying on top of the housework, I am less stressed at the end of the day.

I have hardly had a chance to look at Facebook and Pinterest all week, and to be honest, I haven't missed them that much. (Ok, I miss Pinterest a little!) I have made time to work out everyday and my body thanks me for that.

Overall, I have to admit, the home atmosphere has changed for the better....but I am soooo tired! And I get plenty of sleep! I have started showering at night to allow me more time in the morning and I go to sleep by 10pm every night. I guess I just need time to adjust....and probably alot more time in prayer!

I think about the pictures of the 1950s housewife I have seen. Her family always looks so appreciative of all her hard work, but in real life, I am sure that was not the case. She was just expected to do it all.

Women are human, and I know I am going to have setbacks...it's all part of the journey!

(But I mean, seriously, who smiles as you are doing all of these chores?!)

Prayer for Seth

In My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 wife, Sara Horn talks about praying for her husband.


Hmmm....let me just be totally honest. I pray for my husband. I pray for him when he is going through difficult or stressful circumstances. But prayer regarding my husband, happens more when I am having a hard time...WITH HIM!


"Dear God, why would you have me be married to such an IMPOSSIBLE man?!!"


Surely, Martha 31(Note: Martha 31 is what Sara Horn calls The Proverbs 31 wife in her book:) prayed a prayer like I have. I imagine men were even harder to deal with back in her day. But I am pretty ashamed to admit that I don't spend that much time in prayer for my husband.


It seems strange that I probably spend more time in prayer for people that are not nearly as close to me. I pray for people who have lost loved ones or those going through difficult times, but some of those people I hardly even know.


I pray for our marriage in general, but it occurs to me that I really should make a habit of praying for Seth on a daily basis.


Proverbs 31:11-12 says that "she will greatly enrich his life...she brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." This surely means that Martha 31 spent time in prayer for her husband.


Martha 31 also didn't talk badly about him to others. And again....I'm guilty.


Have you ever been in a room full of women and the "husband talk"  starts? It may even start with one wife bragging about something her husband gave her or did for her, but before long the husband-bashing starts and I hate to admit that I have not just participated in this type of conversation but I have been the ring leader! I seem to have alot of stories regarding my husband and his ability to drive me up the wall. I love to make people laugh, but it should not be at the expense of my husband.


I have so much work to do on myself, it's almost overwhelming sometimes!

I Need an Apron!

Yesterday, I had to stay home from work with Emma because she had the stomach bug. :(

But on the bright side, I decided that it was a good time to work my "domestic diva skills" since that is a small part of being a Proverbs 31 wife.

After I cleaned the children's rooms and mopped the kitchen, I set to work on a crockpot dinner. Ask my husband, and he will tell you, I am no chef. I try....I really do! But I almost always find some way to screw up every dish I make.

I had gotten a crockpot cookbook from one of my friends, so I set to work and found a recipe for creamy spaghetti. It sounded nice and easy and was something everyone in my family would actually eat.

But....the sauce was made from scratch, and I usually use sauce straight from the jar. (I know....so lazy!)

I started cutting and sauteing the onions, browning the meat and boiling the spaghetti...all at the same time on the stove! I was really quite proud of myself (Note to self: This was during Emma's naptime and my boys were at school, so it was definitely a rare moment where I could actually focus on cooking without any interruptions...I wonder if that is one of the reasons I am such a bad cook!)

As I was multi-tasking on the stove, I noticed that the oil from the onions had splattered onto my shirt, along with a little tomato sauce.

It was a "light bulb" moment...an apron!!! Of course!

If I had an apron, I could throw it on everyday when I got home to cook dinner and I would not have to worry about staining my clothes. Usually I throw on an old t-shirt and shorts when I get home and attempt to cook dinner. If I wore an apron, I would still look nice when Seth gets home.

Proverbs 31:22 says, "She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns." Well, you won't find purple gowns or even linen in my closet, but I take this to mean that I should look nice and well-kept. An old pair of shorts and a t-shirt full of holes probably doesn't cut it.

You might think it strange that a 31 year old wife and mother does not own an apron...but then if you have tasted my cooking, you probably aren't surprised...

Gram's Apron Store: Laura's Apron

I found this apron that I LOVE!!! And, of course, it is Made in America. It's a little pricey, so maybe I will ask for it for my birthday! ;)

My creamy spaghetti turned out pretty well and I even cooked a chicken dish overnight. I am on a roll!