Don't judge me, but my kids don't and won't have cell phones

"It's a scary world out there. I like to know where my kid is all the time and I want him to be able to reach me." 

People often get defensive or even argumentative with me when I say that our kids will not have cell phones anytime in the near future. I am not judging you for giving your kid a phone, so don't judge us for deciding that we will hold off on cell phones for as long as possible with our kids. Truly, I do not see the need for my child to have a phone until he is driving. And even then, he doesn't need to have a smartphone, a simple flip phone with no data will do just fine. 

Good kids make bad decisions everyday. They are growing...learning...it's okay to make mistakes. Unfortunately, the mistakes that kids make on their phones today, can hurt them for a lifetime. And you might not even know about it. When I was 13 and made a mistake, there wasn't a video or picture as proof. Today, kids are documenting EVERYTHING. 

I know, I know. Not YOUR kid. It's everybody else's kids that look at, listen to or do bad things on their phones. I know you might feel like you are very techy, but I have personally seen apps and secret techniques used to hide and delete pictures and messages on their devices so that parents will never find out. 

Is it worth it? We have decided that the risks of giving our children phones do not outweigh the benefits. It is a personal decision that parents have to make and every family's circumstance is different. 

I just hope and pray that when you give your child a phone, that you educate him or her about the lasting consequences than can accompany a smartphone and social media. Too many kids just don't know and understand how devastating a split second decision to send or post can be. 

How my insulin pump works (with link to short video)

As a follow up to my last post about my diabetes, I made a very short video (below) that shows how my pump works. It's my actual pump, and my messy bathroom counter you will see, but what you won't see is my annoying face or hear my annoying voice! 

It's not all that interesting, but hopefully it will answer any questions people have about the pump. I have to do this process every 3 days and it usually takes me 5 to 10 minutes. I usually put the infusion set (that's where the insulin goes in my body) on my stomach, but I have put it on my arm before. Kennedy tends to grab at it more, but sometimes I think that my body absorbs the insulin more efficiently when it's on my arm. 

There is another pump called Omnipod that I would love to try when my insurance will cover it, but I am still researching it. It has some mixed reviews, but it doesn't have the tubing, which is the most annoying part my pump, in my opinion. 

So, here's the video. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKucLhXWTq4

How's the Diabetes Going? The Sarcastic Truth

Well-meaning friend or family member: "How's your diabetes going?"
Me: "Fine, thanks." (More info depending on how close I am to the person...)

What I actually want to say:
"Well, I have a useless pancreas, so I have to prick my finger and check my blood sugar at least four times a day, every day, and wear this device that's super sexy 24/7 that constantly pumps insulin into my body, so that I don't die. I have to count every carbohydrate that I eat, and let my pump know so that it can adjust the insulin I receive, so that's really fun, too. If I accidentally overestimate my carb count, I get too much insulin, and then I get all sweaty and confused, and I could die from that too. So, yeah...good times."

People may not know how to respond to all of that, so "Fine, thanks," seems to work better.

I have Type 1 Diabetes. Yes, I'm sure it's Type 1. Yes, I was a grown up and pregnant when I was diagnosed...yeah, it's still Type 1. No, it wasn't gestational. Yes, again. I am sure. No, no one else in my family has Type 1. No, that's not weird.

Real quick diabetes lesson for you:

Type 1 (Only 5% of people with diabetes have this kind...yeah, I not bragging that I'm in the 5%, it sucks)- Your pancreas is basically useless and creates little to no insulin so you have to inject (either with a pump or a needle injection) insulin so that your blood sugar doesn't rise too high. Type 1 has a very small genetic factor. My children only have a 5-10% chance of getting Type 1 Diabetes. It is an autoimmune disorder and can be diagnosed at any age. There is no cure at this time.

Type 2 - (The other 95%) Your pancreas is still creating insulin, but your body isn't using it efficiently. The great thing about Type 2 is that sometimes it can be just controlled with diet and exercise, or even reversed. Some people have to take medication and/or insulin. It is usually diagnosed in adulthood, although there are beginning to be cases in childhood due to childhood obesity being on the rise. Bad news, if you have it, there is a 50% chance your kids will, too.

Gestational Diabetes - Same as Type 2, but generally it goes away once you deliver the baby. BUT... you have a 50% or higher chance of getting Type 2 later in life.

The Diagnosis Story:

I had never heard of A1C before I got diabetes. It is a blood test that looks
at the last 3 months at the sugar levels in your blood.
It is supposed to be under 5.7
When diagnosed, my A1C was 11.
Yikes.

In October, I was in my 24th week of my 4th pregnancy when I got a terrible sinus infection. Then, all of the sudden, I dropped 10 pounds and couldn't keep any food down. I wound up in the emergency room and they diagnosed me with gestational diabetes and admitted me overnight.

Enter my endocrinologist (this is a doc that specializes in the endocrine system) I already had an endo doc because I have thyroid issues (yeah, another autoimmune disorder....I'm pretty much an autoimmune nightmare.) Anyway, in comes my endo to the hospital to inform all of the other dummy doctors that just because I am pregnant does not mean it is gestational diabetes. She runs more tests and assures me that I have Type 1 Diabetes. She brings me a meter to read my blood sugar and insulin pens to inject my insulin.

This is the type of pump I have...
yeah, I wish that was my stomach,
but I have had 4 kids. 

Of course, we hope that she is wrong for the rest of my pregnancy, but she was able to get me an insulin pump from my insurance by proving to them that I am Type 1 in December.

 After I delivered my baby,  (yes, she is healthy, perfectly normal and does not have diabetes) I took off the insulin pump and watched my blood sugar rise to scary highs. I did this several times over the course of the next month or so. Apparently my endo knows what she's talking about. My pancreas is broken for good.

Ok, so I have a list of the top 10 things to please not say to me or any Type 1 Diabetic:

1. You don't look like a diabetic.
Seriously? What does that look like? You mean I'm not overweight? Not even all Type 2 diabetics are overweight!

2. I just couldn't give myself shots or prick my finger.
Well, the alternative is death...soooooo.....

3. Oh, sorry, you can't eat that.
Is it poisoned? Type 1 diabetics can eat ANYTHING they want, they just have to inject the correct amount of insulin. For me personally, I have found that sticking to the Paleo diet keeps my blood sugar from spiking high too much,(lol, "sticking" is the key word, I like food ALOT;) so if I want to have a Dr Pepper and some Hot Tamales, I can for sure have some! Type 1 diabetics do need to eat some sugar to keep blood sugar levels from dipping too low as well.  

4. My grandfather has diabetes, so all you have to do is watch what you eat and exercise and it will go away.
I am glad that you are an expert on diabetes. I wish diet and exercise would make my pancreas magically start working again. That would be lovely. (See Type 1 vs Type 2 above...moron.)

5. I guess you ate too much sugar...
Yeah, no. There is no known way to prevent Type 1 Diabetes.

6. You must have Type 2. Children get Type 1.
It is true that Type 1 used to be called "Juvenile Diabetes." However, every year, 15,000 children AND 15,000 adults in the U.S. are diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. The diagnosis can come at any time. Luckily for me, my pancreas decided to work for 35 years! 

7. Thank goodness you have the pump! You are basically cured!
Ummmm....no. My pump is great. It does the math for me so I don't have to calculate my insulin doses. But it is not a working pancreas. Your pancreas is controlling your blood sugar right now. Mine is lazy and useless.   

 8. Does it hurt when you prick you finger?
Nah, feels great. Give me your finger and let me stick a needle into it, over and over...

9. My great uncle had diabetes and he had to have his foot amputated...and he went blind. But he didn't take care of himself...
Great, thanks. If someone said they had cancer would you immediately start telling your scariest cancer tales? Why should diabetes be any different? It's not...

10. At least it is a manageable disease!
I mean, if we are gonna rank diseases, there are worse ones out there. I didn't write this to complain or say "woe is me" about having diabetes. I watched my mom die of stomach cancer...it was a million times worse. If I have to live with diabetes, but get to see my kids graduate from college and meet my grandchildren, yes, I will manage. But don't write it off like it doesn't affect those of us who have it. It is something we have to deal with every single day. 

Well, if you made it this far, consider yourself Type 1 educated. Congrats and thanks for bearing with me!

A Nice Weekend

It has been a nice weekend at our house. Seth, Uncle Clint and my boys went to the Rangers game last night. They had a wonderful time!

My Aunt Jan sent Kennedy a couple of cute new outfits and bibs that she made this week. Handmade clothes are so special. I wish I had the talent to do what she does.

And here is Emma in her Matilda Jane shirt that Aunt Lauren got for her. We have a few more Matilda Jane items for Emma and Kennedy coming our way, selected by Aunt Lauren. That stuff is so cute and really well-made! I can't wait until our package gets here!

Unfortunately, we are on the hunt for a new church. Our little Methodist Murchison church is nearing extinction, which has become a common thing for tiny hometown churches. Our kids will be going to Vacation Bible School at a large neighboring church this week, but I just cannot bring myself to attend a big church every Sunday. There is a something about a little church that I like, but as it is now, our children are the only children at our current church. That's a little too small! I also have a hard time convincing myself to drive to another town to go to church. There are many options either in Chandler or Athens, neither of which are terribly far away, but there is something special about going to a church just a couple of miles away from home, in your own community. I will definitely have to be in prayer about this important decision for our family! 

Summer, Slow Down

It is funny how my days start out with good intentions regarding my diet, and then things quickly go downhill! I ate some nice wheat toast this morning with eggs and romaine lettuce....then a few hours later I find myself in a home-cooking restaurant called Big Mac's scarfing down my husband's leftover biscuits and gravy...then a few hours after that I am eating Mann's leftover McDonald's cheeseburger. I guess the key word there is "leftover." No one is forcing me to eat their food, but something in me tells me not to let their food go to waste! Oh well, I guess tomorrow is another day!


The boys finished up basketball camp today. Both had fun and Mann brought home several awards to hang on his wall. Tonight they have their last regular season baseball game, but their team has already won their place for the district tournament, so we still have a few more weeks of baseball yet to play!

Somehow, the entire month of June has almost passed us by! Summer, please slow down!

Taking My Time

I quit blogging because I said I didn't have time to keep up with it. But truly, if something is important to you, you make the time for it. I mean, do I have time to sit out in 100 degree heat and watch my boys play baseball? Well, of course! I make time for that! Do I have time to do the laundry? I would love to say no, but yeah, I make time for that, too. Do I have time to shower daily? Well, it would smell pretty gross around here if I didn't make time for that!

I have been paying more attention to how I spend my time this summer. Last summer, I did a lot of sleeping. In my defense, I was in the first trimester of my pregnancy and I was exhausted, but I really did not make the best use of my time. School came back into session, and I found myself really wishing I had planned more when my co-teacher flew the coop (never to return!) and I ended up responsible for every 8th grader's history lesson (while I was pregnant...and diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes..but I digress....)

I have deactivated from every social media outlet, except for the blogging world. I have done this before, but I feel like this time might be for good. Social media is a huge time waster, and I find that I judge others and have some negative thoughts when surfing through those feeds. So goodbye Facebook, Instagram and sadly, even Pinterest. Oh, the time I can waste on Pinterest!

I have been trying to wake up at 5 am, which may sound insane, but that is usually about the time Kennedy is wanting a bottle. After feeding her and putting her back to sleep, I have my quiet time and prayer. Then at 6 am, I take Kennedy and we go on a walk before it gets too hot outside. After that, I am back in time to make breakfast for my other three children as they are just waking up and Seth is getting off to work. Getting up early seems to put me in a better frame of mind for the entire day. On days when it doesn't happen, my mood is definitely affected!

It is funny how people brag or complain about being so busy when time is what life is made of! Like we should get a medal for how busy we are. I say it ALL THE TIME. "I have 4 kids, of course I am busy." Or "like I have time for that!" But that's just my point. I should make the time to sit and enjoy time with my kids, or with nature or with God. I shouldn't be so preoccupied with keeping myself and the kids busy all of the time, because the best time is down time.

This picture was taken about 7 years ago. My boys and their cousins, playing in the mud. There was no agenda. I didn't plan on this mud party. It just happened. And the best memories are made that way.

And then there was this, just the other day in the hay field with my oldest and youngest. Does it get any sweeter?!

Hopefully, I will continue to make time to blog. I enjoy it, even if no one reads a word I say, it's a great way to document our journey as a family.

Are they 7 or 17?

Wow! It has been awhile since I have written! I have been trying to spend more time in my role as busy wife and mother and staying on top of all of my duties, so blogging was one of the first things that had to be thrown to the wayside!

But recently, I have found myself disturbed about various topics and so, back to writing I go...mostly to get out my crazy emotions!!! ;)

 

One of my new favorite toys is my Nook Tablet. My dad and his wife gave it to me for my birthday a few weeks ago and I just LOVE it. I take it everywhere and I am reading more than I ever have before...plus surfing the web and playing Words with Friends and Angry Birds, of course!

I got a subscription to a popular parenting magazine on my Nook. The magazine is geared towards parents of children who are school age, basically ages 5 to 9 or so. But after reading this last issue, I am canceling my subscription. There were several things in the magazine that disturbed me, but I will just share one with you today.

I was reading along and come to a spread in the magazine about cute summer clothes for your school-age child. (I would love to just share the picture with you, but those silly copyright laws forbid me from doing so....)

The little girl on the page caught my eye. She had her hair in pigtails and was missing her two top teeth...just precious. I would guess she was about 6 or 7 years old. She was standing on the beach with big heart-shaped sunglasses on. 

And then I looked closer. Is that a skin tight halter top? Is that a very short skirt that also happens to be mostly see-through? Really?!


The outfit this 7 year old was sporting could easily be worn by a nineteen year old!

Teaching our daughters about modesty is becoming increasingly difficult when the world around us is telling our little girls that what is in that magazine is what they are supposed to be wearing.

These pictures are of my mother. A far simpler time! My grandmother made most everything my mother wore herself. Can you imagine? I can barely sew a pillowcase!

But look closely. Dresses go to the knees, and the necklines are high.


Advertisers and clothing designers today are counting on the fact that our little girls will be convinced that they will have no friends if they do not buy these revealing clothes. And our little girls, in turn, will beg and plead to wear these clothes to fit in.


But this is a battle I am willing to have with Emma in the coming years.


I know, easy to say now...she's only three. But it starts NOW. There is no reason for my three year old to wear a two piece bathing suit or an outfit that would be suitable for a teenager.

I think she looks just as precious with that belly covered up!

I want women to be modest in their appearance, They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or wear gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do. - 1 Timothy 2:9-10

A Dirty Word

It is a dirty word. No one wants to talk about it. You don't want to "jinx" yourself if you and your family are healthy. 

Cancer makes me angry. First I lost my Grandmother. Then my mother lost her fight at only 45 years of age. And then my dad had to fight it (and WON! Go Daddy!) I have taught two students in just 4 and a half years of teaching that have had to fight this disease in their young lives. That's just not fair!


Cancer rates have soared in recent times. From 1950, cancer rates have increased 60%. Prostate cancer rates, which is the type my dad fought, have increased 200% since 1950. And you can't tell me this is just because people are living longer. Most cancer patients are diagnosed in their 60s and we all know very young people that are affected by this horrible disease as well. 


Everyone seems focused on finding a cure, but what about the cause? Most people, myself included, have shrugged our shoulders and just said, "It seems like EVERYTHING causes cancer." 


In 2008, some researchers finally started pointing the finger at chemicals in our environment. 


Most of America buys their fruits and vegetables at the grocery store. Where did that food come from? How many chemicals or pesticides have those foods come into contact with? Even if you wash your produce, can you really wash everything away? And speaking of the water coming out of your faucet...how chemical free is that water? 

And what about all of this pre-packaged, preservative-stuffed foods that we are eating nowadays? Back in the 1950s and before, people made their food from scratch. But have we gotten too busy? As a working mom, how am I to find the time to cook from scratch for every meal? 


When you really start to consider all of these things, it can be overwhelming and almost depressing! 


If you grow you own produce, you know where it comes from. If you cook from scratch, your food is free from preservatives and additives. The issue is time. But maybe I should make the time to make healthy choices for my family. 


I am lucky to have a husband with a green thumb, because growing plants is not a skill I possess (just ask my school's secretary, who has to remind me regularly to water my ivy in my classroom.) But Seth has plowed up a large plot beside our house for a bigger garden this year. 

We are looking into getting chickens to have our own fresh eggs. Seth also recently purchased a great deal of meat from a local meat-packing company. 

I recently made homemade laundry soap and homemade dish washing detergent. (Have you ever read the ingredient list of the your laundry and dish detergents...talk about chemicals!!!) Here are links to the recipes I used to make these items:


http://flitterbugsblog.blogspot.com/2010/09/homemade-dishwasher-detergent.html
http://www.soulemama.com/soulemama/2010/05/on-the-laundry-line.html

I know this is all very heavy stuff for a Saturday morning, but as I go into this week of freedom for me (I'm on Spring Break....YAY!) maybe I should take this extra time to figure out some ways to get the chemicals out of our home. It may not guarantee that cancer will not strike us, but it really can't hurt us to rid our home and bodies of unnecessary chemicals!

  

Better than Flowers

Did you get flowers for Valentine's Day?


Seth let me know a long time ago that if I was the kind of girl who required flowers, I would need to find a different guy to supply them! This was not a deal breaker for me, since I have never been a big romantic.


Our children celebrated a wonderful Valentine's Day dinner supplied by my stepmom and dad (aka "Grandmommy Trish" and "Papa John") while Seth and I enjoyed a night off. Grandmommy Trish went ALL OUT for Valentine's by cooking a meal of all heart shaped foods and completely decorating the house for the special little guests as well.

Is this beautiful? They even worked on Valentine's and did a science project by turning flowers different colors. They had a wonderful time.

But this week, a week AFTER Valentine's Day, I received the best present I had gotten in awhile from my husband. Out of the blue, I received an email...yes, a email...very romantic, but anyway, in the email Seth thanked me for being such a great wife and mom. 

Wow, you wouldn't think it would be such a big deal, but it was! I was telling my friend Kelli about my special email, and she said, "That will last so much longer than flowers." How true!

My Messy Home

Keeping up with my home is a constant struggle for me. Even though I clean once a week, with my crew I would have to vacuum, sweep and mop everyday to keep things looking clean. I found this on Pinterest and it totally describes my home:

I had been feeling really guilty about the state of my home, until I read a blog recently about this very subject.

Ruth Schwenk said,




"I truly want to show love to my family and others more than I want to care about what people think of my housekeeping skills–or lack thereof.


Truth is, I admire others’ beautiful, perfect homes, but have felt the most love in homes that were a lot less than perfect since I knew that those people loved us enough to show their real selves.


And my heart breaks to hear older women say that they wish they had spent less time cleaning and more time just loving their family and friends."

WOW! I have to be honest...I often don't invite people I don't know well to my home because I am embarrassed. There is junk stacked up behind the house by the barn waiting for my husband to haul off (It's been there for months....that's a whole 'nother story!) The carpet has stains that I promise I have shampooed and scrubbed, but they aren't budging. The ceiling has water stains from when it used to leak before we got the new roof. We have a sunroom that is still unfinished from our remodeling job. The under hang portion of the roof needs replacing and we still haven't put siding up on the room we added on the house 2 years ago....I could go on and on.

My house may never be on a dream home tour, but you cannot deny that it is full of love. Little handprints cover the windows and walls, colorful "creations" cover the refrigerator, toys cover the floors. Each carpet stain tells a story....like the one Emma made the other night with the red marker because she wanted to make "a pretty heart picture for Mommy."

Of course, I will still try to keep my house clean, but I need to remember that there are more important things in life than a perfect home! :)

Sugar Scrub

I have been using something on my skin that I just have to share with you. I was given Burt's Bees Sugar Body Scrub for Christmas and loved it...until I saw the price to replace it. Don't get me wrong, I totally support Burt's Bees. They strive to make their excellent natural products in the USA.

BUT...I am not terribly wealthy, so I found this recipe for a brown sugar scrub to make at home....so simple!

1/4 cup olive oil

1/2 cup of brown sugar

That's it! Even I can't mess that up! I also use it on my face, and I have found it moisturizes better than anything else I have used, but doesn't break me out!

I know, it may be something small, but saving money and helping my lacking beauty routine at the same time makes me happy! :)

Growing up too fast...

This school year is FLYING by! I cannot believe that next year I will have a 1st grader and a Kindergartener! And Emma Jo is turning 3 in April and is Little Miss Independent! "I do it!" is her most used sentence.

Daniel lost his first tooth last week. He was so proud!

He also worked very hard on his race car Valentine's box. I will say, Mommy worked pretty hard on this project too. I had to practice alot of patience and resist the temptation to jump in and just do it for him. I kept hearing his teacher, Mrs. Cooper saying, "STOP HELPING!" (in her 'nice' voice...or so she claims because she said it in an instant message!) I also heard her saying, "Is it process or product?" But oh my....it was a PROCESS! Daniel struggles with his motor skills and has problems saying focused. This makes for a looooooooong process, but an excellent life lesson in patience for me!

Daniel recruited his little brother to help with his hand-made Valentines for his class. He had 20 to do, so with Mann's help, he was able to get them done MUCH faster. It was so sweet to watch them work together.

And to sum it up, I have some new classroom materials coming to my students from some generous donors. My students and I are so excited. In a low income school district, we are thankful for any tools that help to educate our students!

Priorities

One thing that I have figured out about trying to be a good wife is that it doesn't leave much time for blogging! My computer didn't even get turned on during the weekdays this past week.

I have also found that I CANNOT do it all. This woman in Proverbs 31 has got to be fictional, because how can you possibly be every thing to everyone and how are there enough hours in the day? Plus, I just have to note that she "plans the day's work for her servant girls." Ummm....where the heck are my servant girls?

I might have enough hours if I didn't have a full-time job, but there is just no way that I can keep up with all of the laundry and house cleaning and ironing and childcare while working 40 plus hours a week teaching.

The old me cooked alot of frozen pizza and spent all weekend trying to catch up on cleaning and laundry. I have been trying to keep up with the cleaning and the laundry on more of a daily basis when I get home from work, but that doesn't give me much time with the kids...oh, and what about dinner?!

I watched the movie The Help last week. I read the book awhile back and have been wanting desperately to find time to watch the movie.

The movie brought back all kinds of feelings I got while reading the book. I was in tears when I realized that I was far too much like the character of Elizabeth Leefolt. She is a follower and she is not the best mother...not a horrible mom, but she just has her priorities mixed up.

Now, I love all three of my children more than anything, and I do consider myself a decent mom, but I can do better. I can be more patient...I can be more attentive...I can be more loving.

So, while the housework, the cooking and the laundry are all things that I need to be keeping up with and I will be striving to do so, my children need me to be there for them.

Dirty Dishes

I feel like God often talks to me through music. Not my own musicial talents, of course, because I have none. But I find myself moved by songs. These lyrics are from Scotty McCreery's new song, Dirty Dishes.

Mama hollers "Supper time,

And don't make me tell you twice

Wash your hands and wipe your face.

The table's no place for your toys,

And try to use your inside voice,

Don't dig in 'til we say Grace."

So we put down our forks and bowed our heads

And then she prayed the strangest prayer ever said:

"I wanna thank You Lord,

For noisy children and slamming doors,

And clothes scattered all over the floor,

My husband workin' all the time,

Draggin' in dead tired at night,

My never ending messy kitchen,

And dirty dishes."

We all got real still and quiet,

And daddy asked "Honey, you alright?"

She said, "Dear, ain't nothing wrong,
Noisy kids are happy kids,

And slamming doors just means we live,

In a warm and loving home,

Your long hours and those dishes in the sink,

Means a job and enough to eat.

I wanna thank You Lord,

For my little busy bees

Beggin' mama, mama can you please?

Always wantin' me to call their name

Loads of laundry pilin' up

Crayons crushed into the floor

And those little sticky kisses

And dirty dishes.

I have so much to be thankful for. I think of the mommies in our community who have had to deal with the loss of a child or a husband, and here I am complaining about keeping up with housework and attempting to cook for my family.

"Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts." - Colossians 3:16

It's Too Mushy

When I embarked on the challenge of making a good dinner for my family every day, I decided that crockpot cooking was one of the best solutions for me as a working mom. One of my dear friends, Holly (who also happens to totally be a Proverbs 31 wife...she even is out there everyday in the pasture working the cows with her husband!) let me borrow her crockpot cookbook.

 I wrote the other day about the creamy spaghetti I made. I thought it was good, but after my second crockpot dinner, which was chicken and rice, Seth turned up his nose. "It's too mushy! I know you are trying to save time, but this crockpot stuff just isn't very good."


I gritted my teeth to keep from snapping back with a sarcastic comment. "Ok, I will try something different," I said instead. But literally, my heart was broken. I was trying so hard and it still wasn't good enough for him.

Like I have said before, I am not a chef. But I can follow directions...truly, it is not that I mess up what I make (well, most of the time) but that I don't know what to make in the first place!

One of my major problems is that in order not to have to cook two dinners, I have to make something that my kids will eat, too. So, last night I sat down and made a list of kid-friendly, Seth-friendly meals and then I made a grocery list of the items we needed.

This morning, I told Seth that I had made a grocery list.

Seth: "That's nice, but we can't buy groceries until the 14th." (Today is the 7th.)

Me: "What are we going to eat this week?" (as calmly as possible)
Seth: "There's lots of stuff in there. I just spent $200 last week."

I found myself gritting my teeth again to keep my mouth shut. I want to say, "Sure, we can live on powdered donuts, poptarts and hot dogs for a week." Seth does our grocery shopping, so in addition to the list of weekly groceries he gets from me, he buys "snacks" (aka junk) for the kids.

About 30 minutes later, Seth showed me the new chainsaw he bought. Hmm...by the end of this experiment, I may not have any teeth left for all of this gritting I am doing....